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Just Zip It!

Having recently had a newborn, I find myself with a renewed hatred of onesies with buttons. Why are people still putting buttons on onesies anyways? It’s nonsensical and, above and beyond that, a huge step backwards in today’s civilized world. It’s bad enough having to wrestle my alligator-like child as she performs her dreaded death roll while I try to get a diaper on her. The last thing I need is the added annoyance of trying to snap these miniature “un-timely” savers together. It’s like trying to get a tomato juice stain out of your favourite pair of white leg-warmers. It’s an uphill battle. Furthermore, they have these new space-age contraptions called zippers, that seemed to have caught on over a hundred years ago. Why stray? There’s a reason I haven’t bought button-fly jeans in 25 years.

So, if you’re a parent-to-be or are just looking to buy a gift for some parents-to-be, keep this in mind when you’re out shopping for that perfect little newborn ensemble. And to the new parents that choose to ignore my suggestion, that’s fine. Just think of me when you go to change your wee-one at 3AM and you end up playing pin the tail on the moving donkey. You’ve been warned!

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